This is not the Mentoring and Befriending Foundation. That was a real registered charity, it held this domain, and it closed. Kept Company is a new, independent, non-commercial reference with no connection to it. It runs no scheme, matches nobody and trains nobody, and it does not award or assess the quality mark the Foundation used to issue.
Mentoring and befriending: what they are, and how a scheme is run
Mentoring is a supported one-to-one relationship with a goal outside itself; befriending is a supported one-to-one relationship whose purpose is the relationship. Both are usually delivered by volunteers, both depend far more on how the scheme around them is run than on the volunteers themselves, and both do harm when they are run badly.
Kept Company is an independent reference on how those schemes work in the United Kingdom. It is written for two readers at once, which is why almost every page on it is set in pairs: what the person giving their time owes, and what the person receiving it can expect.
You are setting up or running a scheme
The whole route, in order, from the honest question of whether a scheme should exist at all through to closing a match well.
You want to volunteer, or to find help for someone
What the role actually asks, what a scheme owes you back, and how to find a service when there is no national list.
Both words are used loosely and they are not the same thing. A goal that can be named points to mentoring. A life that has thinned out points to befriending. Getting it the wrong way round wastes two people’s time.
Mentoring
A supported one-to-one relationship with a purpose outside itself: the mentee has something they want to reach, and the mentor is there to help them reach it.
Befriending
A supported one-to-one relationship whose purpose is the relationship. Nobody is being moved towards a goal. That is what makes it hard to commission and easy to do badly.
And not coaching
Coaching is bought, bounded and usually paid. Mentoring is given. The line blurs inside employers, which is where most of the confusion comes from.
The scheme cycle, stage by stage
12 stages between deciding to run a scheme and closing a match properly. Most published guidance covers the first four and stops, which is why so many schemes are good at recruiting volunteers and bad at ending well.
| No. | Stage | What it settles |
|---|---|---|
| 01 | Designing a scheme, starting with whether to run one | purpose, dose, duration and the honest question first |
| 02 | Recruiting volunteers | Recruiting volunteers for a mentoring or befriending scheme |
| 03 | Screening volunteers, and what a DBS check does not tell you | DBS checks for volunteers, references and safer recruitment |
| 04 | Training volunteers before the first match | what the induction has to cover |
| 05 | Matching a mentor and a mentee | how pairs are actually made, and what to match on |
| 06 | Supervision, support and what gets written down | Supervising volunteers, and the records a scheme keeps |
| 07 | Safeguarding a scheme where volunteers work alone | Safeguarding and lone working in a volunteer visiting scheme |
| 08 | When it goes wrong | breakdown, dependency, drift and complaint |
| 09 | Ending well | Ending a mentoring or befriending relationship well |
| 10 | Evaluation: what to measure in a mentoring scheme | what to measure when the outcome is a relationship |
| 11 | What a scheme costs | What a mentoring or befriending scheme costs to run |
| 12 | Quality standards, and what happened to the one this sector had | Quality standards for mentoring and befriending schemes |
What these two words mean
The definitions, and the boundary with coaching, counselling, advocacy and care.
- What mentoring and befriending areWhat mentoring and befriending are, and how they differ
- What mentoring isa definition that survives contact with practice
- What befriending isWhat befriending is, and why it is not just company
- Mentoring or befriendingwhich one does the person in front of you need?
- Mentoring vs coachingthe real difference, not the slogan
- What peer mentoring iswhen the mentor is not the senior one
- What a buddy scheme isthe lightest form, and where it stops working
- Where mentoring and befriending stopcounselling, advocacy, care and social work
Where mentoring and befriending are used
The same two relationships behave differently by setting. Each page names what changes: who refers, what the risk is, how long it runs, who pays.
- Where mentoring and befriending are usedWhere mentoring and befriending are used, and how each setting changes the
- Mentoring young peoplewhat it can and cannot do for a young person
- Mentoring in schools and collegesMentoring in schools and colleges
- Befriending older peoplethe largest befriending field in the UK
- Mentoring at workschemes inside an employer
- Befriending, health and social prescribingBefriending in health settings and social prescribing
- Befriending refugees and new arrivalsBefriending refugees and new arrivals
Volunteering as a mentor or befriender
Written for the volunteer, in the second person, including the half of the bargain that schemes are worst at keeping.
- Volunteering as a mentor or befrienderVolunteering as a mentor or befriender
- How to become a mentor or befrienderHow to become a mentor or befriender in the UK
- What a good mentor doesWhat a good mentor does, and the lines they hold
- Mentoring training and coursesMentoring training and courses in the UK
- What the scheme owes youinduction, expenses, insurance, supervision
Finding a service
For the person who needs one, or the family member asking on their behalf. There is no national list and this site does not pretend to be one.
- Finding a befriending or mentoring serviceFinding a befriending or mentoring service in the UK
- Who runs befriending servicesWho runs befriending services in the UK
- Telephone and online befriendingTelephone and online befriending
- Referring someone elseReferring someone to a befriending or mentoring scheme
- What to expectWhat to expect from a befriending or mentoring service
What the evidence says
The claims made for these two things, tested. Usable in a funding bid without saying anything that would not survive a reviewer.