Individual case study - Hillingdon Mind Befriending Scheme

Reducing social isolation and helping the return to ordinary life

About the project

Hillingdon Mind matches trained volunteers with members of the public who are experiencing mental distress. The main aim is to reduce that person’s social isolation and to help them return to leading an ordinary life. 

The relationship

Margaret Thompson and Victoria Barnes have a special kind of friendship. Margaret Thompson is one of Hillingdon Mind’s befrienders. Victoria is agoraphobic.   

Margaret has been a befriender for 18 years, having previously spent time running a church club for people with addiction problems. “This widened to include people with mental health problems and I didn’t know how to handle them.  Mind taught me.

I started befriending because I wanted to pay back Mind’s teaching.  I feel blessed because lots of people with grown up kids have a gap in their lives.  That gap has been filled for me.”   Mind stipulates that friends meet every week for a minimum of two hours, and activities vary greatly depending on the situation.

What difference has it made?

  “I was a severe agoraphobic for eight years” explains Victoria. “I used to spend 24 hours in my own living room. For many years I only went out once a year with friends for Christmas dinner.  When I met Margaret I didn’t have any self esteem or confidence. But when I found someone who believed in me, it was like winning the lottery.”  Over the course of their friendship, Victoria has gradually built up her trust in Margaret.  

And with Margaret’s help, Victoria can now drive a car, which she hasn’t done since she was 17.   Victoria says her most vivid memory of her time with Margaret was returning to a place where she suffered child abuse years earlier. “I feared I would relive the bad experience, panic and run away.  But I didn’t.  It was a wonderful day.  I replaced the bad memory with a good one.” “Befriending is more about being there than knowledge” says Margaret. “I could offer friendship which was more valuable than expertise.”  Margaret views what she does as filling a gap that is often left by social services.  

But the type of friendships that are formed through Mind are not long lasting. The rule is that each friendship last just one year. “Then we move on” explains Margaret. “The deadline is good because it forces us to set aims and look to achieve them within the time frame.”

Project details