What is mentoring and befriending?

A popular and growing concept

Mentoring and befriending are increasingly popular concepts and projects exist all over the UK in a variety of settings - in schools and colleges; voluntary organisations; local authorities and businesses (where mentoring is used to support professional and personal development).

Who benefits?

Projects tend to work with a specific group of people or particular age group which can include refugees, unemployed people, older people, disaffected young people, offenders and ex-offenders, care leavers, disabled people, homeless people, pupils and students, lone parents.

Involvement in mentoring and befriending schemes can be a very rewarding experience for all participants as it offers an excellent developmental opportunity as well as a chance for many people to put something back into the community.

Similarities and differences

Mentoring and befriending are very similar activities with some differences of emphasis. In general, they both involve the development of one to one relationships based upon trust, confidentiality and mutual involvement.

The relationship is often voluntary with the goal of providing practical assistance and support.

The main difference between mentoring and befriending is usually the emphasis placed on working towards goals. Mentoring tends to focus more on goal setting and operates within a clearly defined timeframe whilst befriending tends to develop more informal and supportive social relationships, often over a longer timeframe.

Definitions of befriending

  • “Befriending is a relationship between a volunteer and a recipient which is initiated, supported and monitored by a voluntary or statutory agency.”  (Befriending Network Scotland)

  • “Befriending is a process whereby two or more people come together with the aim of establishing and developing an informal and social relationship… Ideally the relationship is non-judgemental, mutual, purposeful and there is commitment over time.”
    (Home Office)

  • “… a relationship between two or more individuals which is initiated, supported, and monitored by an agency that has defined one or more parties as likely to benefit.  Ideally the relationship is non-judgemental, mutual,purposeful, and there is a commitment over time”
    ('The role and impact of befriending', Joseph Rowntree Foundation report)

  • "Volunteer Befrienders exemplify concern for others in action. They give their time to help others on a personal basis because they want to and because they recognise that our obligation to one another is not fulfilled simply by paying our taxes. This personal care is especially effective because it recognises that everyone's needs are different and that too many problems cannot be solved by money alone or through agencies or government. We owe volunteer befrienders, society's good neighbours, a huge debt of gratitude" 
    (Charles Kennedy MP)

  • "Befriending provides welcome support for some of the most vulnerable members of society and we greatly value the work undertaken by those who voluntarily give up their own time to help others. We see volunteering as an important means of extending people's participation in their communities, and we respect the contribution that befriending makes to the lives of all those involved" 
    (Tony Blair, Prime Minister)

    Befriending is sometimes confused with friendship and it is important to state the distinction between them The Befriending Network Scotland ’s Code of Practice states that:

  • “Friendship is a private, mutual relationship.  Befriending is a service”

Definitions of mentoring

  • "Mentoring is a one-to-one, non-judgemental relationship in which an individual voluntarily gives time to support and encourage another. This is typically developed at a time of transition in the mentee's life, and lasts for a significant and sustained period of time."
    (Active Community Unit, Home Office)

  • "support, assistance, advocacy or guidance given by one person to another in order to achieve an objective or several objectives over a period of time"
    (SOVA)

  • "an adult who can provide a pupil with the benefit of their life, school or work experience with a view to encouraging them to move confidently through a range of new experiences"
    (Salford Business Education Partnership)

  • "off-line help by one person to another in making significant transitions in knowledge, work or thinking."
    (Megginson and Clutterbuck)

  • "the support of one individual by another within a personal relationship developed through regular contact over a period of time"
    (Pan London Standard)

  • "We are enabling younger students to fulfil their true potential, by listening, talking and supporting them."
    (Definition of peer mentoring written by students taking part in NMN pilot programme)

  • Mentors are: "many things - a positive role model, an adviser, an experienced friend. Somebody from outside a person's immediate circle taking a special interest can make an enormous difference."
    (Excellence in Schools, 1997)